The funny thing about the Dutch
Is just how often and how much
They all indulge in bread and cheese
And knock it back with polished ease
Edam, Gouda, you will know
But many more will be on show
Hard or soft, and white or blue
For breakfast, lunch and supper, too
The rich and poor, the proud and humble
Share one thought when tummies grumble
Out come parers, plates and knives
To serve the staple of their lives
The word for cheese in Dutch is ‘kaas’
Which starts with K and sounds like ‘farce’
You’ll hear it several times a day
When food and drink are on their way
At mealtimes they will raid the fridge
And conjure up a fresh sandwich
Some might make a double-decker
All will say their choice is ‘lekker’
This little word means ‘nice’ or ‘yum’
That something pleases mouth and tum
And soon after the bread is buttered
You can be sure it will be uttered
You’d be excused for thinking that
The average Hollander is fat
In fact, if anything, they’re thin
And this is why: now listen in
There’s nothing more the people like
Than travelling by pedal bike
Whatever dairy goods they eat
They burn them off out in the street
And one more thing, that isn’t all
The Dutch are so extremely tall
Although they have a modest girth
They’re still the giants of the Earth
Their homeland is a special place
A small flat world, a monster race
Where living can be quite a squeeze
And all the mountains made of cheese
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